Think of all of those beautiful dreams of yours. The big, hot shiny ones. The ones that are so big and amazing that you’d fall over if they came true. Spend too much time there and what inevitably happens?
What If starts creeping in. What if this happens or doesn’t happen or how can I possibly or how would that ever work?
What If goes by another name: FEAR. And it has a wicked choke hold in its arsenal of moves. Sparring with fear gets ugly in a hurry. But it doesn’t have to. Get out your journal because you’re about to kick fear’s ass in three simple steps.
Grab your journal and make three columns
At the top of the page, and above the columns, name your fear. As an example we’ll use the word Failure, and old friend of yours truly’s. No sense in going in softly. This is fear we’re talking about and if I’m going to show you how to throw the ol’ 1-2 punch, we’re going to use a formidable opponent. Failure is just the contender we’ve been looking for.
In column one, write down the worst that could happen. All the implications of this failure, the chain reactions, the gossip at the hair salon. You know, the juicy stuff.
In column two, write down the answer to this question: What is one thing that I need to know right now, something I don’t already know, that will help me let go of this fear? With failure as an example, you might write anything in this line from not knowing what to expect when I get there to not knowing how to handle the back lash if I let people down.
Now you have something tangible to work with instead of this wild amorphous emotion.
Go to column three and write down what you can do right now to find the answers for column 2. It doesn’t have to be a comprehensive five year plan. A few words about where you’d start will do just fine. Perhaps you just need to ask a few more questions about what you’re walking into. Maybe you need to ask someone to go with you to an event for support. It’s your fear – your list.
Fear represents all the areas of your life where you don’t have enough information
Now that you know what you’re really looking for, focus on that. It will shift your mind set into problem solving mode where you have way more control over the outcome. Instead of your brain swirling on problems you may never encounter, and could not fix if you did, put your mental energy into what you can do.
If you need more information, write down where you think you can get it. If you need more time, write down who you think can help you. So on and so forth. By pinpointing what you’ll need to succeed you can formulate a game plan.
On the odd chance that one of those What Ifs comes to fruition, there will be someone in your life who’s better equipped to handle it and who you can delegate to. There is no problem out there that you can’t hire out for a solution. Remember, the world wants to help you. People want to volunteer to make a difference. That means in your life too. Trust the process.
Go make your columns and kick fear in the ass. It’s easier than you think.
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