"New Year, New You"...Bullshit!

With 2016 coming to a close, we are being BOMBARDED with “New Year, New You” posts virtually all over social media.  I wanted to open my heart to each of you ladies and let you know, you don’t need to create a new you in 2017.

The you that you’ve always been is more than enough.

Looking back on this last year, it was filled with ups and downs on my end (can you relate?).  I wasted far too much time in 2016 trying to create a “new me“, whether that was through dieting, business achievements, clothing purchases, random trials ;), and the list goes on, and on, and on.

And to be 100% honest, getting sucked down a social media rabbit hole of approval-seeking didn’t bring me the happiness I assumed it would in 2016.  This fruitless effort to create a “new me” was a down right waste of time.  It surely wasn’t worth all the anxiety it caused!

New Year’s Eve is an interesting holiday, some of us can’t wait to celebrate coming off a fabulous year and others want to forget the last 365 days even happened.  Most of us are somewhere in the middle.

But, something about ringing in the New Year gives us the message that we need to START OVER.  That we need to make all these drastic “resolutions” to dredge up a new sense of self.  Hence the reason the gym gets extra packed on 1/1.

Speaking from someone who has been there, self-acceptance is vastly more important than self-overhaul.  

You are who you are, and the sooner you can get in touch with the person inside, you’ll really see your life, and the way you experience it, start to change.

Does that mean once you accept yourself that you’ll never have a bad day again?  Absolutely not!  Life is all about struggle, dark and light, happy and sad.  And it’s okay to FEEL things … rather than running from them to create a “new you".

That’s also not to say self-improvement is pointless, but there’s surely no need to rip yourself apart and make a list of 20 resolutions to meet by mid-year.

So my advice to you this New Year is to toss the bullshit “New Year, New You” notion.  It’s mildly insulting if you ask me.

For 2017, make small changes towards self-acceptance instead.

Here are my top 5 self-care fav.’s:

1.)  TURN OFF NOTIFICATIONS ON SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORMS

This was the GREATEST thing I did for myself in the last 6 months!  This does not mean you need to delete Instagram or Facebook (because, I mean, that would be just cruel) but it does allow you to be present in your life without compulsively checking your phone non-stop.  I noticed a huge difference when I turned notifications off, now I can hop on and off when I please.

Reality is, I haven’t missed anything by giving up notifications.  I actually feel like I gained my presence of mind back!  🙂

Oh, and my “overwhelmed” state has gradually decreased with it!

2.)  JOURNAL

Although I admittedly haven’t been so consistent with this, journaling is a huge help to get your thoughts out of your head and onto paper!  You can write some affirmations down or just reflect.  It’s so relieving once it’s all “out there”.

3.)  EXERCISE … BUT NOT FOR A PHYSICAL RESULT

This is my hands down FAVORITE concept! However I know for others it can be the hardest to grasp. Most people go through exercise “phases” with the sole goal of looking good. For me its been a shift to exercising for my mind.

It truly is the #1 stress reliever on the planet.  I recently read that if exercise could be compounded into a pill it would be a block-buster drug for anxiety, depression, and so many other ailments.  Even when you don’t want to, there is NO DOUBT you will feel a million times better after you get a sweat in.

And change things up.  Try group work outs, try yoga, try running … keep going until you find what works best for you.

4.)  REALIZE THAT INSTAGRAM IS NOT REAL LIFE

Yes, I know we all fundamentally know this, but sometimes it seems so real … which leads us to start the comparison game.  Which is a game that can’t be won.  EVER.

As a blogger, I curate my Instagram feed with pretty, carefully shot and edited images.  Yes, this takes a ton of time, professional photography classes, and a ton of planning ahead.  It’s all part of the business.

But, I also know that real life is not curated and never will be.  We can easily look at Instagram and compare our current life situation to those of others.  Remember, the grass isn’t always greener (cliches are cliches for a reason, right?).

Social media let’s us see the glory (99% of the time)  … but we don’t always know the story.  Remember that.

5.)  SAY NO TO PLANS

If you’re anything like me, you like to be SUPER BUSY 24/7 365.  Well, I can tell you that this caught up with me a couple months back.  This manic, always booked life-style led to burn out, exhaustion, anxiety, panic attacks, and just downright insane amounts of stress.

Since then, I’ve learned to say no to plans when need be and am finding that it’s okay to not have a fully booked calendar for an entire year in advance.  And so far, I’m good with that.

I now enjoy binge watching Gilmore Girls, getting up early Saturday mornings to have quite time before the kids get up, getting sleep, sight seeing on a random afternoon with my hubby & kids, playing the random board game with my hubby and trying to laugh a little more each and every day ;).

That being said, make 2017 more about your own self-care … because it’s not selfish.

It may be a New Year … but you’re still YOU.

… and I like you that way!

PS:  Be extra sweet & share around socially with anyone you think needs to hear this message + I can’t wait to hear from you in the comments below. 

My Weight Loss Story

I posted earlier on my FB about being surprised about seeing someone had pined my Beachbody transformation from the Team Beachbody website. I mean, I guess it could totally happened but I was not expecting to see MY picture while browsing pinterest for some menu idea's for my challengers. Haha! I'm pretty proud of that picture so it's kind of a big deal to me. I worked my ass off (literally) to get where I am now. Its been quite the journey and I'm still going!

Whenever people learn that I've lost a large amount of weight, the first thing they want to know is HOW I did it. So I will dedicate this post to answering that question and get it out of the way now.

The short answer is: beachbody workouts & running (aka exercise) + shakeologoy & eating clean (aka diet). Sorry to disappoint, but I did not take any magic pills, magic wraps, eat magic food, or any type of surgery. I did not sit on my couch all day and stuff my face with food and lose weight! Shocking, right? I actually put in a LOT of hard work, dedication, and made lots of sacrifices to get where I am now---and it was all worth it.

Now, if I still have your attention, I'll give you some details. 

I am a binge eater, and when I was upset, I ate a LOT of food in one sitting. We ate a shit ton of fast food, cooked fattening meals at home, and in order to "relax" at night, I would eat large amounts of comfort foods. 

June 2004, I worked up the nerve to finally leave my toxic marriage. Being a single mom, running a home childcare business and trying to find the real me was hard. The first year after my divorce I put on 37 lbs. I went from 118 lbs to 145 lbs. I went and saw my dr because I was exercising daily and not seeing the scale change and I had a few other issues I was concerned with. Come to find our my thyroid was crap. I was diagnosed with Hypothyroidism. The dr wasn't the best and just told me to take the meds and continue working out and it'd work its self out. Well it never did but I had so much on my plate I just thought that's who I was meant to be. I did continue exercising 1 hour a day at the gym because it was my therapy time. 

September 2009 just a few days before my birthday I was at the gym on the elliptical doing my thing when I felt my left leg separate at my knee. I dropped from the treadmill in horrible pain. Usually there is no one else in the gym since its a tiny 24 hr fitness but that day there was some meathead looking guy lifting weights. He came running right over and helped me up, got me some ice and wrapped up my knee. I waited a few days and the pain was only intensifying so I went to the ER. After a few X-rays later was in a whole leg brace and on crutches and I had a referal to see a specialist. They were pretty sure I tore my menicus. I went to the specialist but all he talked about was surgery this, surgery that. And this girl was not down for that. Espically since I had been all over the interweb researching for myself. I instead went and saw my family chiropractor. He adjusted me a handful of times and started doing physically therapy with me for 6 weeks. After that he said it would just take time to heal but it would heal on its own. The only catch was it could take up to a year to fully heal. I would try to workout but each time my knee would really both me. So I pretty much gave up.

Fast forward to 2011 when I gave birth to our beautiful lil man Sebastian. I was sick all 9 months with this child. I threw up 1-2 times a day without fail. It was horrible. But I craved sooo much food at the same time. I ate horribly during my pregnancy everything salty, fried and sweet I ate. I ended up gain 80 lbs with this boy. I started the pregnancy around 140 lbs and ended up at 220 the week I had him. He actually came 2 weeks early so I can only imagine the rate I was going if I would have made it to full term that I would have topped off around 230 lbs. Thankfully with Sebastian I was able to drop the 80 lbs by the time he was 10 months old and was holding steady back at 140 lbs.

Then came baby number 4 in 2014! We found out two weeks after we found out we were moving to England, that I was pregnant with our lil Rowan. During the next 7 months, we had to plan our military move halfway across the world AND deal with a HORRIBLE custody battle with my ex. After my 5 months of morning sickness subsidded the weight started really packing on. In May alone I put on 25 pounds...no fucking joke. We had all our stuff packed up mid month, we were living in temporary military housing, trying to see all our family & close friends to say our good-byes and work out the last few kinks of our custody battle. My ex's lawyer was really good at trying to fuck us over at the last moment. And I ate my feelings to coop. I've always held my emotions in so eating them was the only way I could handle everything that was going on around me. Rowan was born August 23, 2014 (1 day before his due date) and the day I went into labor I weight in at 235 lbs ... I'm 5'1".... that's a whole lot of weight on a short person!

October 2014, 6 weeks after Rowan's birth, I made a decision to lose all the weight and get back to the 120's. I've made this decision at least a thousand times before, but for some reason, this time I was very determined to stick it out to the end. I wanted to quit so many times, but I persevered and in December 2015, I weighed in at 150 pounds (85 pounds lost). 

My ultimate goal is to weigh 125 pounds, which would be a total of 110 lbs lost. From January - June I was stuck at 150-152. In June I was laid off from exercise due to a sever hip flexor strain and I ended up gaining some weight. Not a ton but July-September I was fluctating between 157-160. I started back to exercising and eating right mid August and I wasn't losing again. After getting no where with my dr on our military base I took my health into my own hands and late September I started seeing a UK specialist that helps people that battle thyroid issues and weight loss. I started seeing her September 25th and as of today October 20th I'm down 5 lbs. That's a HUGE deal for someone that has hypothyroidism.

As far as the changes I made to my diet? I did not cut out carbs, or eat just fish and broccoli. I didn't live on salads for the last few years. I cut back on my portions by weighing and measuring my food, tracked my calories and meal planned and prepped. Right now the dr I'm working with has me elimanting soy and sugar from my diet. I have already elimantated diary because my stomach doesn't agree with it. It doesn't mean that I occasional enjoy some ice cream because I do its just not monthly. HA!

At first, I ate all the usual stuff that I was eating before--I just ate less of it and counted those calories. Over many months, I began to make healthier changes (because I WANTED to, not because I felt like I HAD to). I was eating roughly 1200-1400 calories per day. Right now my dr has me on a 1200 calories per day and that's because of my thyroid condition. We will be changing it as I begin to lose more. 

As for exercise Turbofire is what helped me lost the 80 lbs after I had Sebastian so of course it was my go to after having Rowan. I did Turbofire, 21 Day Fix, Insanity Max 30, ChaLean Extreme, Cize, Country Heat, 22 Minutes Hard Corps, and Hammer & Chisel (not in that order). March 2015 I started training myself to be a runner using a treadmill hubby bought me. I'm currently back to training myself since I had to take 4 months off completely from running due to my hip flexor issues. 

And that's about it! I'm currently sitting at 151 lbs but I have a feeling I will finally be breaking this plateau real soon. ;) Currently I'm running 2.2 miles, 4 times a week and I'm doing ChaLean Extreme again because this girl loves weight training. 

Selfish isn't a dirty word...

During one of my recent conversation with a client, we got into a pretty intense discussion about the topic of selfishness. Have you ever been scared to do something because you are afraid of someone calling you selfish? Or worse, secretly thinking it? Are you nervous to say no, or put yourself first because you feel guilty for it?

This is something I personally struggled with for years and I see it among many of my clients as well. First let me say this: it’s not a bad thing to be worried about this. It shows that we are all caring, nurturing women who want to see others happy.

But when does other people’s happiness put our own happiness at risk?

Think about that for a second. If you’re miserable, unfulfilled, and exhausted, what’s the point of being there for someone else? Doesn’t it kind of defeat the purpose?

I am in no way saying you should stop caring about other people. But you’ve got to consider yourself along the way. What if you started replacing the word “selfish” with “self-love?” What if every time you beat yourself up for sleeping in, calling out sick, declining a dinner date, or spending a day indulging in whatever the hell you want, you viewed it as an act of self-love?

Join me in the self-love movement and love yourself a little. 😘