An Open Letter to My Husband...

To my wonderful husband,

You are a soldier who has been called to action and have left today to serve your country. While I have known about this for quite some time, and I feel I am as prepared for it as I’ll ever be, I’ll never truly be ready to let you go and I need you to know how I feel and what you mean to me.

You came into my life when I wasn’t looking and you brought a kind of light that I’d never experienced before. You won me over with your charm, your charisma, and your beautiful smile and I was smitten from that first moment. Our first dates were mostly spent just laughing and talking, and I knew right then you were the one. It didn’t hurt that you showed me your nice guy side right away and I loved every minute of those long nights when we had nothing to do but talk and laugh. (And because of you I learned to be who I really am!)

I was also afraid. I was afraid to let myself fall for someone that fit me as well as you did. That something this wonderful couldn’t be real. That fear quickly melted away and my feelings grew into something much more, and it was visible to everyone in my life. Over the first few months of our dating, all of my friends and family came to know you. There was never any awkwardness between us. That they saw from the beginning that we were just us.

What I love most about us is that in finding each other, we not only found the person to share our love with, but we also gained a friendship that can never be replaced. You are not only my husband but also my best friend. You bring me excitement every morning and peace at night.  You are the person I can always count on and the person I can trust with my secrets and my life.  You complement me in the best way possible and have only ever added to my happiness. Our life together is the greatest adventure I have ever had and I could never thank you enough for taking me on your life journey with you.

I love the life we have created together.  The life that includes regular date nights, even if it’s just in the house. I love how we play games together so that we can get a little competitiveness out… even if it is over a game of Yahtzee.  I love how we have our shows we have to watch together. I love how you love going to a random village and exploring with me. I love how you ever so quietly try to get out of bed not to wake me when you have to go to work. I'm the lightest sleeper so I always hear you but it makes me smile as I fall back to sleep. Having you next to me at night is what I will miss the most. I love when we go out and paint the town red, blue, purple, green, or whatever color we are in the mood for.  You are as spontaneous as I am and you have made me even more adventurous.  You keep me grounded and at the same time, you lift me up to reach new heights.

But you are gone now. And I will miss you beyond words.  I’ve tried to hold it together, keeping in mind that each morning begins another day that gets us closer to the end of this deployment, but each days seems to drag on and on, and I feel like we missed out on trying to fit in all of the time we can while we still have work and other obligations. So while I wanted to tell you all of the things I love about us, I also wanted to tell you that I have wondered for so long, what will I do without you?  Here is my answer:

I will continue to build our home into what we want it to become.  A place of love, warmth, respect, comfort, and joy (and I will probably repaint all the furniture!).  I will love our kids hard enough for the both of us.  I will hug them harder, kiss them more, and simply highlight all of your awesomeness while you are away. And I will love you harder and more than I ever have. After all, it is said that absence makes the heart grow fonder. I will appreciate you more for the sacrifices you are making on behalf of others who you nor I even know. I will keep myself healthy. I will do things that make me happy. I will take care of myself! I will be strong!  And I will honor what I promised you the night we became husband and wife when I placed your ring on your finger “as a symbol of my love and honesty, as a constant reminder, that I have chosen you, above all others. To be the one, to share my life.”

With all of my love,
Your wife

Chaos & Craziness Made a Baby Named Gratitude!

Chaos took Craziness by the hand and they started dancing in the middle of the floor. That has been my life as of lately. One big ol’ chaos & crazy dance party. 

I feel like I've been spinning in circles for a good month now. The holiday months are so busy for us and as the New Year approaches it doesn't seem to be slowing down much LOL. Welcome to life chaos yells as craziness does the twist. 

And while I crave slowness & stillness, my bones feel full of gratitude. My bones feel full of gratitude for so many individuals. Individuals who came into my life just weeks ago. Individuals who have been friends & family since I started my business adventure.

This post is for all of you. It holds my gratitude. My love. My need to each & every one of you. My need to breadcrumb a trail of thankfulness for the ones who have pushed me, dared me, and believed in me enough to support me as I followed my dreams.

It ain’t ova yet… Truly, it is just starting.

First, first, All Of You – For all my social media followers. My challengers {aka clients}. My team {Team Passion & Team Believe}. My supporters. My Believers. My encouragers. You keep me going. You make me see the value in my work. You challenge me. You keep my hands full of gratitude. I treasure you & your dedication to me in an always & always sort of way. Hold tight, much ahead.

& to the Spirit of the Universe - I deserve nothing of this. But I am so thankful that you filled my hands. You’ve blessed me with soul & purpose, is there thankfulness enough in this world for that? I love how when I'm second guessing my path of this business you are quickly to remind me that THIS is the right path. For that I am forever thankful.

William {the love of my life} -I know I don’t say it nearly enough but Thank You. Thank you for the endless support. You've showed me love that I never knew existed. A love that never falls away. Never stops growing. You bring me laughter & clarity. I am endlessly grateful to call you my husband, my lover, my best friend.

My Children {Courtney, Logan, Sebastian & Rowan} - I would not be who I am today with you four. You have made me who I am today. I am so blessed to have not 1 but 4 children who are just so amazing in their own way. You are the reasons why I work so hard. You four are my biggest why. I'm building this legacy for you 4. My four beautiful minions.

Paige - I honor you. I look up to you. I never go a day without thinking of your mentorship. Thank you for being leaders & beacons in my life. And for helping me hold my mission high up to the world.

There are numbers & numbers of folks to thank beyond this teeny blog post. Please know that this is not the fullness of my list or the end of my list… I would be here forever if I were to list everyone. For all your impact, your support, your love, and your spirit…. I am scripting a language of gratitude to you.