Word Vomit...

Ladies and Gents...CALLING ALL ENTREPRENEURS...Let’s stop the word vomit. Shall we?

As the owner of a business myself, and as a mentor to other entrepreneurs, girl bosses, and business owners.. I understand the temptation to word vomit.  I get it.. you want people to know how amazing and awesome your product or service is.

If you get nothing else out of this blog, please take this away…. 

People do not buy products and services from you because of your product or service. They buy your product or service because they know, like, and trust YOU. YOU ARE THE MAGIC.

The quickest way to get people to know, like, and trust you, is by keeping it real, yo!  So let’s stop word vomiting all over people about how magical your product is, shall we?  NO ONE CARES.

Just be real, be honest, and care about them.

True story.  Not too long ago, I got a message from someone I hadn’t heard from in years.  When I saw their message in my inbox I was excited and curious to hear from them.  Turns out, this person had just started their very first new business.  Exciting right?!  Well, you’d think so.  But the message they sent me was four paragraphs long, ALL about them, ALL about their products, and they didn’t ask me ONE question about myself, how I was doing, or even tell me a little bit about why this would be something I would be interested in.  

AKA, utter and complete word vomit.  

As a business owner it made me sad for them because I knew it one day they had become “that person” to however many hundreds of people they had sent the same exact copy and past message to.

It all comes down to this – You want people to want to try your product or your service?  Then you have to know WHY they would even benefit from it first of all.  But you also have to care about them and you MUST keep it real!

Don’t drink the Kool Aid to your own product or service.

You have to know what YOUR truth is.

A great example of this is myself!  Before I started my business, I tried the product.  But we were broke, and at the time I did not understand the value of Ketones.  So, I was just going to try it and send it back for a refund after my 30 day trial.  

Soooo sketch and soooo lame.  

I, of course, DID NOT send it back because I fell head over heels in LOVE with my beloved Unicorn Moonshine. BUT, I make sure that I tell all of my clients that story, because it’s REAL, and because I want them to know that I understand!  I am a person too and I actually care about them.

When you’re having a conversation with a potential client or customer, when you are inviting them to try your product, to try your service, to work with you in some form or another… before you just go out and tell them all about your product or service, you first you have to know WHY what you offer would benefit them. Then, when you have a conversation with them, be more interested in them than you are desperate for them to be interested in you.

Being interested in someone else is the quickest way to make a friend, and at the end of the day, the most loyal customers and clients are the people who know that you actually care about them because you’ve taken the time to ask!

Once you have asked them about themselves and discovered a need you can help with, then you can say, 

“Hey! Have you ever hear of _____? I think you would really love it because of _______.”

Let them ask you! Just say, “Hey. I think that you would really like this. Have you ever considered trying this?” And see what they say. If they say, “Yes,” great! You can ask them if they want more information, or how you can help them. If they say, no they haven’t, then you can say, “Well, I think you would really love it. Do you want me to get you some more information on it? Or, do you have some questions that I can answer for you?”

It is so simple to build a relationship with someone. It takes virtually no time. But, word vomit is not the way to do it.  If you want to build a very successful business that lasts a long time, then dude, keep it simple.  All you need to do as a business owner is fill a need for someone else. That all starts with being more interested in them than you are desperate for them to be interested in you.  Find a need that they have, and fill it.

Here’s a little bonus tip for you. Any message that you send to someone about your product or service needs to be three or four sentences long, maximum. If someone sends me a message that’s more than five sentences, I am not answering it. I don’t have time for that.  I’m a busy and so is everyone else. Keep it simple. Less is more. Allow them to ask the questions and you will see the success you want as you gain more and more LOYAL clients and customers!

If you’re curious about how you can work with me and be a part of my Team. I’ll be in touch!

Laying in the Road, Waiting for Traffic to Run me Over: Life as a mom

Making the decision to be a stay home full time with my kids was what I thought I always wanted to do. I dreamed of being a mother since I was very young. So being a stay at home mom was just part of my dream. I felt like I was missing out on all of the good stuff at home if I wasn't the one who was with me them daily. 

My daughter was 6 months old at the time and our babysitter was sending me pictures of things like the first time she rolled over, and pictures of trips to the park. And seeing her starting to grow without me made me sad.

Funny thing is I worked as a nanny for a family while our daughter attended a home daycare. I only worked because my ex-husband wouldn't let me stay home. I honestly just worked to pay the babysitter. It was the stupidest thing ever but I was married to a very controlling human who refused to let me stay home or go to school. 

Finally when she was 18 months I quit. I finally talked my ex into letting me stay home and babysit a few kids. At least that way I could be home with our daughter and I make a small income on the side. I couldn’t wait to slow down and truly experience what life was all about. I envisioned the perfect life I would have as a stay at home mom. We would spend our days strolling through parks/museums, my house would be spotless, nice meals always made, I'd teach our daughter, she would take long naps and at end the day I put her to bed and relax with a smile on my face.

I had this vision that my house would be the epitome of a Pottery Barn catalog and our yard would be the envy of our neighbors. I'd have the smartest, most well behaved children and my (then) husband would wonder how he got so lucky to have such a perfect wife and prance me around town like a sparkly little show pony, and my kids would idolize my every move. Usually this fantasy also included me winning a dance competition of some sort in front of a crowd of hundreds.

I was certain my life would be perfect.

The next 5 years were rather a blur of ...

babysitting part time from home & starting a mom group to...

running a successful home child care to...

a divorce to...

a big move...

 unemployment and dead broke to... 

back to running a home daycare.

Once Logan (2nd kid) started school. I went back to school full time for a cosmetology degree. But then I got pregnant with baby number 3 and I throw up like the exorcist at least 3 times a day. I couldn't work, go to school or move most days. So at 10 weeks pregnant I once again became a stay at home mom and I did some babysitting on the side. Again I pictured this perfect little dream of unicorns, rainbows and me winning dance competitions. 

Fast forward 5 years...most days I think about going and laying out in the road and wait for a car to run me over. 

At least my co-workers and fellow students didn't throw tantrums in front of me. My kids don’t give a shit who is around. They’ve thrown themselves upon the finest floors in the city in front of dozens of horrified onlookers. In fact, they prefer to misbehave in public because it practically guarantees my reaction will be within the confines of the law.

Now, I live and die by my kids’ happiness. Not a minute goes by in my day that I’m not thinking about how I can somehow make their lives better, constantly worrying that they are not happy enough, evaluating myself as a mother and continually thinking of ways to make sure they have the most perfect lives possible. I look at these kids and understand the meaning of life. 

And in return, my children are physically incapable of being happy unless I am actively waiting on them. For example. I sit down to dinner completely exhausted. I’ve been running like a crazy frantic person all day breaking up fights and diffusing tantrums and cleaning up poop and a cornucopia of other usually unidentifiable bodily fluids or crushed foods into the carpet.

They will purposely wait until I sit down and put the fork to my lips to tell me that they need a napkin or a drink. And then when I point out that their napkin or drink is right there there, they will frown and frantically look around for something they’re missing that will make me have to get my old tired bones up from the table to get for them. And if they can’t find anything they will chug their milk until it is gone and whine that they are still thirsty until I get up and get them more.

They are sick and twisted little creatures.

And now our 2.5 year old has started decided that sleeping if for the weak. He now gets up 500 million times throughout the night opens his door, stands at the baby gate that keeps him caged in his room and whines until one of us get up and put him back into his bed. This is not a game we enjoy and I'm really regretting getting rid of his crib.

I am so sleep deprived at this point that this is especially dangerous for him at this point in my life because since becoming a stay at home mom I have completely lost my fear of going to prison.

If I would have ever, EVER, had a co-worker wake me up in the middle of the night on a regular basis I would have put a mouse head in their lunch box, or at the very least change their computer password to “I am a giant asshole”.

But no. I will not stand for a sub par performance review from my kids. I drag my half asleep self out of my warm bed. I go to his rom. He smiles once he see's me and runs to his miniature bed and jumps in, curls up with his little lovie blanket, and he’s quit and asleep before I even spread out his blanket. And I have no idea where it comes from, but somewhere deep inside me I’m like, “awww!” and the thoughts of selling him to the gypsies down the road from us quickly disappears.

Which brings me to my next point – my ungrateful fart knocker of a client. AKA my husband.

My husband is amazing. I love him with all my heart. Seriously. 

But sometimes when he arrives home after a 48 hour shift he is completely oblivious to how much work is was to keep the house standing upright. In fact, he has the nerve to ask why there’s goldfish all over the playroom. 

And I’m just thankful he didn’t come home five minutes earlier when the cat was on fire and the toddler went missing. There are so many times in my day where, if he were to come home and see what shape the house was in, he would fire me and hire the nanny.

I sometimes feel like I’m the only parent in the world who can’t manage a simple project. 

We are going to get pictures with Santa Claus = A blowout diaper up the back right before they sit on Santa’s lap.

Let’s commemorate your first hair cut = Death grip around my neck every time the beautician comes at them with a comb, hence the reason why I cut their hair myself at home. The screams don't bother us and we know he's not dying.

We are going to eat dinner now = Hustling out of a restaurant in shame. 

But the higher my expectations for perfection, the more chaotic and painful the experience. I used to be the queen of manipulation, but now I just pray and wear comfortable shoes.

When I first became a stay at home mom I was terrified of the police showing up at my house because I made some horrible parenting mistake. Now, if they show up I will ask them if I can borrow their tazer for a second.

I used to sneak into the bathroom to pee in private like a normal human being, now I sneak into the bathroom just to catch up on my snapchat alone.

I’ve learned that being a stay at home mom is as challenging of a career as any. And as with any job, it’s all about balance. And mom's its okay to take time for ourselves. This is something I STILL struggle with and I've realized after the last few weeks it may be time for me to seek out some sort of help. Before I end up in the looney bin for a nervous break down.

Don't feel ashamed to use the nursery at the gym to give yourself a break to blow off steam in a kick boxing class. Don't feel ashamed to schedule a massage while the kids are at pre-school instead of cleaning the bathrooms. Shit, bringing a flask to the playground if you must. 

It's all about balance mommies.