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Tuesday, September 26, 2017

The passive aggressive "f**k you"...

I've noticed a real trend on the internet lately. The passive aggressive "fuck you". We've all been a victim of it and I'm betting we've all dropped one or two of our own on a douchebag here or there. Shit I'm the queen of doing it and I honestly don't care. HA!

I've rounded up some of my favorites, but I know I missed a bunch, so leave yours in the comments!
1. Just Sayin' 

This is the most abused fuck you phrase out there. By adding these two words to the end of any sentence, it's suddenly turned into a "joke." 
It's meant to take any phrase, no matter how horrible, and turn it kind. But you can't say "Your kids are disgusting and ugly, just sayin'" or "You're an idiot, just sayin'" and think that's OK. My standard response to this one will forever be, "I mean I'm just sayin.'"
2. Smiley and/or Winky Face

I have been known to use the winky face to express sarcasm. To me that is the only way to show tone of voice until a sarcasm font is invented. 
I only use the sarcasm winky face on people who I knew well and who understand my sense of humor. I would never say to a perfect stranger "You're a terrible mother. ;)" And yet it happens. Every single day.
3. It's Just My Opinion 

This one and It's just my HUMBLE opinion are two really good ones. There is nothing humble about your opinion. If you were humble you would keep your asshole opinion to yourself.
4. I'm Not Trying to Offend You, But...

Then just stop right there, because I'm already offended, Namaste.
5. Namaste

I'm seeing this one crop up more and more. It's like the hippie crowd wants their own fuck you. They will cut you for not eating your vaxing your child or not using reusable toilet paper and then at the end, they sign off with "Namaste."
6. Bless Your Heart (my favorite I might add) 

Only people with a southern accent can get away with this one. When the rest of us say it, it sounds like "Your mom's a whore."
7. Don't Take This Personally, But...

As opposed to not taking it personally? When you say, "Sally, don't take this personally, but let's just say I would never do it the way you did." You just told Sally she sucks on so many different levels you don't even have the time to educate her.
8. Whatever 

This is the fuck you from the 13-year-old crowd that has slowly worked its way into adult vocabulary too. It's always used when the speaker has run out of anything intelligent to say or realizes he/she is going to lose the argument. It used to be "agree to disagree," but apparently that was too many words and it has since been shortened to the charming "Whatevs."
So there you have it. Eight other ways to say fuck you to someone on the internet. 

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