Seeking BFF...

Slightly crazy, anxiety ridden, unicorn loving, super fun mom of four seeks other mom for friendship. Must love food and not mind cussing. Must not judge when I start my third cup of coffee for the day or have 3 cupcakes at my kids birthday parties. Must love cupcakes and coffee. If the potential friend doesn’t like cupcakes or coffee, will consider friend if they at least love chocolate. Must love to go out for ice cream with the kids occasionally as well.

Must not judge me for always wearing makeup and sneakers. Will not judge potential friend ever on any attire, even if attire is stained. 

Must actually love and like to be around our kids. Can understand when you mutter sometimes that they’re driving you crazy. The feeling can be mutual – but must really enjoy them a good chunk of the time. 

Must love to see psychological or supernatural thrillers (without the kids). Must freak out like I do when you know the bad guy is hiding behind the door. Must love horror movies or at least be open to watching them.

Must not laugh when this mom’s cupcakes look like Pinterest fails. Must still want to eat the cupcakes with me. Must eat them with me with coffee or a glass of wine. If the potential friend does not drink alcohol, that’s okay because I rarely do myself.

Must keep it real. Must not get annoyed when this mom freaks out about a lice outbreak at school. Must be such good friend that if household gets lice, friend may be grossed out and wearing a shower cap, but will come over if I get lice (and husband cannot remove it all!). This grossed out but good potential friend of yours (ME) will also come over to your house and pick lice out of your hair for you, too.

Must be willing to have each other’s backs. That means that we stand up for each other, celebrate, and commiserate together. Must not act uncomfortable if this mom ever cries or is upset. The same will be true for you, too. This mom will never judge you if you shed tears.

Must be okay with being on this mom’s emergency contact list. Will accept you as a friend if you like my kids MOST of the time. Must be able to go and get them if the world implodes and my husband and I cannot get to them. Will do the same for you and your kids.

Must laugh at this list. Must say to self: this person is crazy, I like her.