Boys Out Number Girls in Our House...

Yep you read that title right, boys out number the girls in our house. There are three boys (sons), my husband vs myself, our daughter and our female cat. That makes the ratio 4:3.

Even though I do have a daughter, I’m still drowning in boy. It’s a good thing I’m a strong mama, a tomboy myself or I’d get lost in all that maleness. 

Here are my top things I’ve learned being a boy mom for the last 12 years.

~Teen boys can eat their weight in pretzels without a single roll of chub appearing on their waistlines. This is not an urban myth; this is the absolute truth. I have witnessed it. (And I’m so jealous.)

~The toilet seat is almost always wet. Never rush to sit down on the toilet, always check the seat first. If I do not check the seat first, I am in for a bad wet nasty surprise. Moms of newly potty trained boys, expect this toilet seat checking will be your life for many years to come. Even when the boys are older their aim does not improve. 

Personal Tip**Beware of using the bathroom especially in the dark without visually inspecting for a dry seat first. I’m serious. Don’t do it. While you are at it check the floor too so you don’t get wet socks.

~Food disappears in bulk fashion in a blink. I can’t say enough about food. They flock to the kitchen when I come home from the store. I can’t keep up with enough food they consume it so fast. If I buy a box of Cheezits, I’m lucky if it lasts 24 hours. It might last 51 hours, but it certainly won’t last 52.  My husband will wait too long for a piece of cake savoring each moment up until he finally decides to eat it only to find someone already inhaled it. You snooze you lose. Label it! We must label our food treasures or hide them.

~The things in your house are all toys. Incessant fort making happens. All things in the house are free game for fort material. Laundry baskets full of clothes, sheets, clothespins, couch cushions, chairs, shoes, blankets, string, bungee cords, books, curtains, bar stools, pillows, and more. They will use every stinking piece every darn time. Forts upon forts.

~Boys must have physical activity several times a day and they throw everything. Boys must climb and stand on all pieces of furniture: chairs, couches, tables, end tables, and railings. They need to get their energy out especially in the winter so I allow this within reason. Learn to dodge flying objects and flying footballs in your spare time. Face it that you will never be good enough to dodge them all. You will get pegged at some point.

~Odors happen. They happen a lot. The smells from the boys will not improve as they grow. Fellow boy moms get used to announcing of farts accompanied by laughter. Get used to accusing and denial of farts too. Some gladly claim them, yet some will utterly deny the silent stink.

~Burping is easy and a skill. Burping is as easy as breathing. I’ve lived four decades and I still can’t burp on purpose but they’ve all figured out how to do that before the age of six.

#10: Boys have their own ideas of what constitutes as fruit. They think fruit snacks are fruit and will argue they are right until their last breath. Maple syrup is fruit too because it comes from trees. Ketchup is fruit too because it’s made from tomatoes. Ketchup will be licked off plates. Syrup too. After all they are fruit, right? 

~I must again mention the stink; it bears the need for multiple mentions. Stink lingers. Shoes and socks can stink up an entire room for days. Febreeze is truly your friend. Bless you Febreeze.

~They fight too hard sometimes. They will fight and hurt each other. They just can’t keep their hands to themselves. To reduce the number of squabbles get a minivan, an SUV, or some vehicle where there can be space between them to save your mama sanity on all family drives.

~It’s never quiet and they are always loud. It is not quiet and it won’t be unless they are asleep or gone.

~Throw balls happens in the living room. Daily. No matter what. You can’t stop it.

I love my boys and being a mom. No doubt I’m outnumbered, but I love them despite their messy, stinky, incessantly hungry, active, bickering sides because they are also sweet and good boys. They make me laugh and we have fun. They are smart, athletic, and creative.